For years I have wanted to move to the Metroplex. I grew up going there and have always loved it. I decided after returning to Angelo that I will move to the Metroplex once Devon has graduated high school which is next year. Over the past several months I have become close to a group of people through various sports. Logan has had the same coach for each of his sports; football, basketball, and now baseball. There are 4 boys that have been together on each of these teams and our families are getting to know each other well. Logan and Elijah have known each other since they were 4. Our families are growing close. Logan was added to this baseball team solely on the fact that he is part of this core... I found out today that Logan will now be allowed to stay at Fort Concho for 4 and 5th grade and continue to be in a confined group of GT students. While they have not made Ft Concho the official GT magnet school they are now giving parents the option to stay there. Apparently an entire 3rd grade class opted to do this last year and now the 4th grade GT teacher from Santa Rita who was not needed because these kids opted to stay at Ft Concho has now been hired to teach at Ft Concho. I figure by the time Logan gets to the 4th grade Ft Concho will be officially the magnet school. Which is awesome. They are working on a program to bump the kids a grade in math so that when they reach the 6th grade they can go straight into the AP class or something along those lines.
So I started writing this while on hold... I'm done holding and talking and don't feel much like saying anything else so THE END

LPC - INtern

I just discovered I majorly screwed up on counting my hours back in August. I didn't transfer my cumulative hours correctly.... The result of this mess is that I REALLY Finished my hours FEB 20th!! I have missed out on a month worth of substantial raise! Damn It... Lesson learned Always double check your work especially when it involves money!

Sometimes I think I want to throw out all of my rugs... then I think man I would love to have carpet!

I want to move

Or something... I don't like it when logan isn't here... I get blahs... I found myself very bored yesterday... I didn't like it. There were plenty of things to do, but none that I wanted to; ie clean my house... so I did it today. BLAH. I was so glad when logan came home. I just want to UGH. So my poor child tells me that his father tells him "are you a boy or a girl" Logan says "a boy" his father "boys need to live with boys and girls live with girls" OMG!!! Logan cried to me saying Mom I don't want to have to make this decision. It's too hard. I said oh baby don't you worry you do NOT have to make this decision at all that is what I am here for. I told him I'm sorry his father is putting this adult weight on him, but that I am here to take that weight off of him. We hugged. He smiled. All is better in Logan's world. He is glad to be home. OMG he told me that he ate corndogs and drank root beer all week except for the one time he had pizza and the one dr pepper he drank. He took one bath and changed his clothes ones. He fell days ago scaping his knee and came home in the same wripped jeans. Logan says that his dad was proud of him for handling it like a man. WHAT? He's 8. Logan said his dad wasn't even mad about him tearing his jeans... I thought of course not he doesn't have to worry about buying more! I have to keep myself in check because Ralph seems to be focused on when Logan turns 12 he gets to pick where he lives and apparently he is okay with trying to coax him now by telling him boys live with boys. I have to remind myself that there is no way Logan would want to leave his life and settle for a part time parent all of the time... I get leary that Ralph is going to try something... I just don't trust him and he has expendable money. He lives off his parents and girlfriend and lawyer... apparently he just moves between the three homes so no rent he has his car payment, insurance, cell phone and what else of yeah DRUGS! he can't afford a home because he has DRUGS! God is testing me I know he is. I shall pray Ralph gets better... I'm hungry HA there's something random for ya ;+)

Logan

So Logan has really been jacking with me lately. He has talked about moving to his dads more than once.. He has concluded that it is not in his best interest, but he does miss his dad... and then he talks about living with him again... Ugh he is killing. Oh it gets better... so one day I was amazed at how fast he reads. FYI - I'm a super slow reader.. it has to do with the ADHD I think. LOL So I told Logan he must get his fast reading from his dad because his dad is a REALLY fast reader. Well hell that made his day. He got something good from his dad. Well that was weeks ago, but in all of his missing daddy stuff lately he has been bringing it up. He has asked me what other nice things I can say about his dad... OMG are you kidding me... well I love my kids more than anything so I suck it up and come up with some nice things like... he loves you very much, he's not a bad person.. pathetic right. I told him his dad has issues but that I don't want to get into that because it was adult stuff and he just isn't old enough I did explain PTSD in child terms. I found myself asking why the heck did I have to have children with addicts? Logan has been listening to country music a lot lately and he looks so sad like he wishes he could just hug his dad. Then I have all these mixed emotions... I'm angry and my heart hurts for Logan.
Side note: My ADHD inattentive type has been acting up bad. I had hoped that exercising could help with stress management and managing the ADHD; however, it doesn't seem to be helping much. If anything things have become worse since I started exercising, althought I don't think exercising is why. These past few days have been really FUCKING bad. I've been almost in tears for like 2 days. My mind is so jumbled. I am forgetting things and finding it so frustrating I called my doctor to see about getting back on Ritalin... lol oh the irony... I just realized I have no real idea when my appointment is... HA I hope I put it in my phone or wrote it down. Oh well, perhaps I will call Dr. Forlano's office again to double check, if I can remember. After all they wanted to schedule me an annual pap with Dr. Novack instead of an annual physical with Dr. Forlano.
Hey I think I only hit 2 topics... that's amazing! Good night

oh so freaking hungry!!!

It's making me sick :+P  So this morning I got onto Logan because well he just wasn't listening or out right disobeying... yep outright disobeying. anyway, so Logan is sitting on my bed this morning waiting for me to finish getting ready for work and he informs me that his father told him when he is 12 he can pick where he lives... I explained that it is NOT that simple. I told him that it would require a judge to intervene unless both parents agree. Logan then asked... Would you let me go live with my dad? I promptly said NO... sorry son, but NO. Then we began to talk about why. I told him to think about how life is during the short bits of time he is there and pointed out that all of his time would be like that. I reminded him of how bored he was at Thanksgiving and Christmas and that he called me like every day. I told him we didn't need to finish discussing it later cause he was getting upset and he had to go to school. Sooo after school I asked Logan if he thought about what we talked about this morning... Ha he said me not minding... I said umm no, your dad. Logan said, Oh. As much as I miss him. I don't think it would be worth it to live with him!!! Damn that kid is smart.
PS my PMS is killing me... so tired.... got that stupid period migraine today... and a little pissy when Devon told me his whole freaking family is going to the powerlifting meet this weekend. I mean it's good that they are going to support him, but where the HELL were they the whole freaking season. And I'm inches closer to smacking that stupid lady at work... and I may have told several people Ooops. Bye now

127.5

UGH! 10.5 lbs over my ultimate goal which I had managed to reach briefly in August I think. I think I am bloated from PMS or something since I don't really have periods. I did have some spotting today. I know I was retaining water like crazy last week. My fingers swelled like little sausages... it was kind of funny. So I'm going to bitch a little bit... I know SHOCKER HA. I'm not really angry just a little annoyed! Work has been super busy which is awesome cause I'm trying to use the power of the Secret to get me a big FAT raise! However, my work has not been the only part of RCH that has been crazy. The clinical department hasn't had a clear head to lead them for about a month... It has been chaos. I have 19 peeps in my outpatient program. there are 7 inpatient adult psych 11 adult chemical dependency. Each of their programs have a therapist... Umm hello it is just me in outpatient... If I am not bitching... Please do not bitch to me about your job. HELLO!!! Let's do the math! Side note Same person... If you are overweight and unhappy about it, but not doing anything to help yourself and I am unhappy about my weight and AM doing something about it DO NOT berate me because I am smaller than you!! I am 5'3" I will always be smaller than someone who is 5'10". If I weigh 117 lbs at 5'3" it is okay... If you weigh the same at 5'10" you are anorexic!!! OMGosh
Other side note Different person... I know this is my personal issue and nothing mean was meant by it (which was made obvious by the apology) PLEASE WORLD COULD YOU JOIN ME IN MY DELUSION THAT I DO NOT HAVE A BIG NOSE!!!! For those of you who don't know I fucking hate my nose... It took me a long time to stop obsessing over it... ONE little statement even one followed by an apology tends to send me spiralling down. I would love to accidentally break my nose so I could have surgery. Would one of you be a friend and break my nose for me? LOL UGH I wanted to cry. It is so stupid. Nothing mean was even said. I was talking about my teeny tiny ears and wrist and it was pointed out that my nose wasn't as tiny as the rest of me. And that I make someone else feel better about their nose... maybe that was kind of mean, but I know it wasn't meant to be mean. She quickly apologized.
PS I wish I could stop eating... it's that PMS insatiable hunger!

I did Zumba today

And my friend Lisa and I are talking about training to run a 5k... eventually! I weighed in at the doctors office at 129... OMG I wanted to puke! lol to be lighter HA No more Zumba for me. Logan starts baseball next Tuesday and has practice Tues and Thur from 5:30 to 7 and some Saturdays. Uhg that's a lot of practice. Logan says it's okay cause he needs it. Ha So next Friday I'm roadtripping to umm well that's to be determined, but somewhere around Sundown for Devon's powerlifting. I'm kind of excited. I asked my friend Dana to join me, but part of me kind of wants to go alone... IDK I never get a moment alone. It's nice sometimes... It would also be nice to split the motel cost! Alright bed time Nite!